A billboard seen in Katmandu, Nepal: "The perfct Typewriting Institute"
A sign seen over a wood workshop in Bali: "Antiques - made to order"
The writing on the back of a Ute: "Performance Paving - a quality lay at the right price."
A friend and her 8 year old son were looking at a buddha statue together. The buddha was holding up both arms, in one hand holding a globe, in the other hand - what could it be? "It's half an avocado, mum!" - "Do you know what a buddha is?" - "Yes! It's sort of half god, half genie!"
My neighbour's profession is fitting doors. Just doors.
One day he got a phone call, someone ordering a new door. Question: 'Is it an internal door or an external door?' A long silence, then, 'well, one side of it is external, the other side internal!'
One afternoon on the way home with a car full of kids, they were begging to watch a video once they got home. I explained that dinner would be ready in about half an hour and asked if they would turn of the video then without complaining. "Yes! yes!" - "Promise?" - "Yes!" shouted all but the youngest one, 6 years old. He sat there, thinking deeply, then, "I don't know that I can promise that!"